Regrets
by AKA DD
Summary: He came back, but only left her with regrets.


DISCLAIMER: Dark Angel doesn't belong to me.

A/N: This was inspired by a banner of the same title made by Yoyo. It's short, written in a few minutes, just to express the images that the banner evoked. Besides, I was looking for a distraction from writing my chapter fics. We all need it every now and then.

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"Hey, Max."

Max looked up from working on her Ninja motorcycle at the sound of his voice. "Alec." she said, a little breathlessly.

He smiled slightly, a tiny lifting of the sides of his mouth. "How are you?" he asked quietly, his voice husky, tinged with old memories—some of them not quite happy, others not quite sad.

She stood up and wiped the grease from her hands. "Same as ever. What about you?" she asked, returning the question. It was only polite after all.

His eyes crinkled along with his wider smile. "Older," he replied.

And Max could see the changes the years had wrought on him. They weren't much, but to someone who had known him well, they were there. It was in the way the lines around his eyes deepened just a little bit more than they used to. And how his jaw was somehow rougher, the shadow of his beard darker. It was in the way his voice seemed deeper, more resonant. It was in the breadth of his shoulders, the way he stood a little bit straighter—less swagger, more confidence.

And it was in the way he didn't look at her anymore.

Max swallowed briefly. "We all grow older everyday," she acknowledged with a tight smile. In the years of his absence, she had grown older inside, finally understanding what it was that he had left for. Finally understanding what it was she had let go. "Some of us a little more than others," she finished quietly.

He cocked a brow at her. "Oh, so that's what it is. I knew you looked a little different. Must be the gray hair, the wrinkles…yeah, definitely saggy around the edges there, Max." he quipped.

She chuckled. "Yeah, and I can see that you've really let yourself go, Alec. Especially around the middle." she retorted with a smile, slipping into an old banter that felt rusty from missing her partner.

"Well, what can I say? Dez takes good care of me." he chuckled.

And that was the biggest change of all. He was happy. Genuinely, openly happy. Max held her breath, afraid that if she would let go, he would hear her gasp of pain. Afraid that he would somehow hear her heart breaking.

"I'm glad," she whispered honestly. She turned her back to him and crouched down. She made sure she was behind her bike, made sure that he couldn't see her face anymore. She noisily started tinkering on the gears, hoping that he would get the idea and just…go.

Like he had done three years ago.

"Max,"

"Mm-hmm?"

"I'm coming back to stay."

Max closed her eyes briefly, her hands stilled. "Good. That's good." She managed to whisper. "We could always use a good scammer like you."

He chuckled, but Max still refused to look at him. Her heart was beating painfully in her chest, knowing that she would likely see him everyday. Just like she used to. Only this time, he wouldn't be standing by her side. Only this time, he belonged next to someone else.

"Yeah. I've really missed Seattle, y'know?" he continued, seemingly unaware of her pain. "And it'll be the best place to raise our son."

Max almost fell, but caught herself just in time. "Your son?" she squeaked.

"Yeah, Dez and I, we're having a kid."

He sounded so happy, and all Max wanted to do was sink into herself and cry. How could she have screwed up so much? How could she have not known how much she had loved him all along?

And now…he was happy…without her.

"That's wonderful, Alec. That's…perfect." She whispered truthfully, brokenly. It was perfect, just the way she had always dreamed of, a real family. Only in this reality, the family wasn't hers. Tears welled up in her eyes as the ache built inside of her.

She'd really lost it all.

She heard the crunch of gravel as he came closer. Max looked around frantically to find something to wipe away the offensive tears. But he was already right in front of her, the bike the only thing separating them.

"Max?" he asked tentatively.

She looked up, her brown eyes swimming in unshed tears. "Yeah?" she asked tremulously.

She saw his jaw clench, his eyes go dark. She heard him release a pent-up breath. "It's…I…"

She stood up and used the back of her hand to wipe away her tears. "Don't, Alec." she whispered achingly. She shook her head sadly. "I was wrong. I was angry, and I was scared. I didn't understand."

"Understand what?"

She closed her eyes briefly, unable to stop two tears from slipping, scalding her cheeks along the way. "That you were the one. It was you all along."

She watched as he closed his eyes and raised his head up to the sky briefly. He clenched his fists. There was a taut silence between them. Max saw a single tear slip from his eye. He finally looked back at her and shook his head. "Max, I can't—"

"I'm not asking you for anything, Alec," she cut him off. "Just…just be happy."

"And you?" he asked. Then he reached a hand to wipe away a few tears. Max let herself sink into his warm palm for a moment, closing her eyes, relishing this feeling. She knew it would be the last time he would ever touch her like this.

Finally, he dropped his hand, and she opened her eyes back to reality. "I'll find my way there, someday."

He nodded. He turned to leave, but paused. He stared into her eyes and sighed heavily. "You're still the one. I never stopped loving you. But I never knew if you would ever feel the same way. And it hurt all the time. With Dez…I know. She makes me happy."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes sincere and open, allowing him to see the truth. That she had loved him all along.

"Me, too."

And with that, he turned around and walked away, never once looking back.

Max took a deep breath and watched him saunter away, his head high—looking forward to the rest of his life. She sighed heavily, her heart broken. But a small smile lifted one side of her mouth. She still wished him all the best.

She looked back down at her motorcycle and regretted the fact that all the parts were still on the ground and she couldn't take it for a much-needed run. With a final glance at Alec's retreating back, she sat down to finish her work.

Regrets. Those were all she had left.

THE END.


End file.
